I trained as a Soul Midwife in 2020-2023 during which time I attended classes, completed 6 case studies and then in 2024 started to actively support people who are facing end of life.
I believe that we need to learn to accept death as a part of the journey of life, and in accepting it learning more about it and how we can have some control over this part of our life.
Another name for Soul Midwives is Death Doula – I use the Soul Midwife name because I trained at the Soul Midwives school.
The doula reference makes sense too because just as a woman prepares for the birth that she wants, with her midwife or doula, so we can prepare for death too.
Both events are similar in that they are definitely going to happen but we can have some control over where we would like it to be, who we want in attendance, what music or scents may we like to have. Who we want informed and by what means will they be told
In this role I am able to listen to things that the dying person may feel unable to say to their families, I can help them make preparations that will ensure that when they die, their families do not have unnecessary additional stress because they have taken care of things that need to be taken care of, or at least left access to the documents and passwords that their loved ones will need.
I can prepare memory boxes or books or make recordings for children/grandchildren that they may not see grow up so they can still be a part of their lives in the future.
I can support people to have difficult conversations and support family members with their journey too.
I aim to ensure that when the time comes they have the death that they wanted, in the location of their choice with the people, sounds, smells and images that they want around them. In a time of extreme uncertainty, having any control that they can over such things can be immensely re-assuring and powerful.
This is currently a voluntary role which I do under the referral of Kingscare with whom I have been DBS checked. I also work a couple of days a week as a Community Support worker, helping people live their fullest life possible by supporting them with activities that they would struggle to do alone.
In a previous life I was a qualified accountant and software developer but I stopped doing this work when I discovered these roles that really make me feel that I am making a difference. I love being outdoors and like to walk or cycle in woods especially, I am a literal tree-hugger.